NOT everyone is obsessed with the war, it seems. The complaints log at Scottish Television shows that a lady in Glasgow's west end phoned in to say: "Do you know how annoying it is when you have set your videotape for something and then when you go to watch it, some political rubbish is on instead?" The programme she missed was Holiday Lanzarote. It was replaced with a special interview with Tony Blair on Iraq.

The Herald A STORY you may have missed over the festive period. Two airline pilots at Miami Airport got into an argument over a cup of coffee. Concerned staff smelled alcohol on their breath, they were breathalised and found to be over the limit. A passenger on another flight, a Steven Wiese, who heard about the story, joked as he got on board his flight: "I hope you haven't been drinking."

The airline crew refused to take Mr Wiese and his wife, and the police were called.

He was charged with disorderly conduct, and his case has been referred to the FBI. Further proof, if you needed it, that airplanes are not the places to crack jokes these days.

The Herald DIARY readers might recall that the Oxford Dictionary's quote of the year surfaced in the Diary some months ago, when the George Bush story was told by Gordon Brown at a showbiz reception where he informed a fellow Scot of a G7 meeting at which French president Jacques Chirac bemoaned the economic climate adversely affecting France's competitive edge. A listening George Bush turned to Tony Blair and murmured: "The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."
Well, who would believe it? The Bush quote has just been named by researchers at the Oxford Dictionary as the top quote of the year by the rich and famous.

The Herald Diary A CALLER telephoning Direct Line's insurance call centre in Glasgow to make a claim after burglars broke in while he was asleep was less than chuffed when he was being transferred to the right department, and Frank Sinatra began being played down the phone line while he waited. Frank was singing Strangers in the Night.

Surfers looking for the Executive find hard-core porn websites In April it was revealed that innocent internet users who keyed in www.scottish executive.com were instead being linked to an escort agency featuring sexy pictures of women posing as secretaries and exposing their underwear. Also, www.scottishexecutive.com sends surfers to even more explicit pictures of women.

The Herald rather usefully supplies the links to access the porn - just in case you accidentally get the real Scottish Executive site by mistake !?!?

Leaders Page DUBLIN photographer and muso BP Fallon was a teenage extra in Antonioni's Blow-Up, filmed in swinging London in 1966. He's been on Top of the Pops with John Lennon; played bongos with Led Zeppelin; DJ'd on a U2 world tour. This didn't prepare him for Baird's Bar, Glasgow, though.
Visiting the Barras, BP stumbled across the Hoops' haunt. Fascinated, he whipped out his camera. A large Celtic fan then told BP something he's never been told by any other subjects, who've included Jerry Lee Lewis, Ronnie Wood, Robbie Williams, and Kate Moss: "It's a tenner for my photo, or I'll bust ye."

Leaders Page EMIGRÉ Glaswegian Bill Dunlop is transfixed by a radio advertising campaign in Washington DC. It's for the Salvation Army, with the slogan: "Down the road, it'll do some good."
The Sally Army is calling upon affluent Americans to donate any unused items - particularly old cars. The ad outlines the benefits accruing to generous car donors: "You'll be saved the trouble of selling it. You'll get a tax credit. You'll feel really good about it - except when you're standing at the bus stop."